nakedtourist

Is it just me?

I posted something on Facebook about high school memories and tagged a bunch of people that I used to hang out with… we were all commenting and joking around about ‘the good old days’ and what not.  All of a sudden, this girl that none of us really hung out with, chimed in like she was a good friend or something.  It pretty much ruined the whole thing for me.  I don’t know, maybe I’m just a snob…

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Drinking Lessons: V.1

So, I was out with friends – let’s just say we were in a city that wasn’t my residence and has no public transportation – and we ran into a few old friends.  One of the previously mentioned ‘old friends’ happened to be one of my exboyfriends from years ago and we were a little flirty, but since he had a girlfriend (and I had no interest in rekindling the relationship) it never went past flirting.  Anyway, we were all having a good laugh bringing up old times and talking about how stupid we had been (some things never change) when my girlfriends that I had arrived with decided to head back into the city I told them to go ahead and take off without me.  I was having way too good of a time to leave that very moment – so when my exboyfriend suggested that I hang out longer and sleep on his girlfriend’s sister’s couch, I thought that would be a great idea (some alcohol may have been involved in this decision).  They took off and I continued on my merry little way…

An hour or two later, the bartender announced last call and we all started to walk back to said exboyfriend’s girlfriend’s sister’s apartment.  When we arrived, we all walked up the steps and my ex opened the door.  I was introduced and although I was not introduced as an exgirlfriend, apparently there had been some discussion about me in the past – the current girlfriend immediately recognized my name and said ‘hell no’ to me crashing on her sister’s couch.  My ex put up a little bit of a fight, but you could tell he was whipped… so I was in deep shit.  My drunk-ass was kicked out of the apartment with no place to sleep.  Luckily, it was rather warm out, so I sat on the apartment’s lawn for awhile trying to figure out what the ‘f I was going to do.  Around 3:30am I decided to try my step-brother and see if he could come get me.  Luckily he was able to pick me up and I ended up crashing at his place… but it was still a crazy night and a lesson learned.

If you are planning on crashing on your exboyfriend’s girlfriend’s sister’s couch after drinking all night in a bar far away from your home with no public transportation, make sure that your exboyfriend contacts his girlfriend and gets the ‘OK’ BEFORE telling your friends they are fine to leave without you.

Frozen.

I’m drinking hot chocolate… in the middle of the summer.

How f’n stupid.

They are so worried about the budget, yet they blast the air conditioner until it feels like the middle of December.

Way to go.  You’re brilliant.

Horrible.

Ugh.  Stomach virus.

I see a lot of puking into a trash can while sitting on the john in my future.

Just how I wanted to spend my weekend.

That is all.

Stupid. Effing. Cramps.

I kicked a bird.

So I was walking today –

which coincidentally is something I do every day –

And I looked down right before my foot connected with a bird.

I couldn’t believe it, the damn thing didn’t even bother to try to get out of the way of my foot.

You have wings you bastard.

Unforking Believable

So I was eating my left over lasagna today (thanks mom) – when my stupid plastic fork broke in the middle of my meal.

I was left with a decision.  Do I forfeit the rest of my treasured, home made lasagna?  Or do I start eating with my fingers?

Considering I am in a cube and in full view of everyone else around me, I decided not to pick up my pasta –

but not eating the rest of it wasn’t an option either –

So I used a pen.

Probably not the healthiest choice, not sure if the ink is supposed to be ingested or not, but it was interesting.

Thought Experiment

If a bum poops in the Park,

but there’s nobody else around to smell it,

does it still stink?

On that note, it’s time for lunch.

Nothing but the facts, jack.

You didn’t answer the phone –

I put down that you didn’t answer the phone.

If you think that makes you look like you aren’t doing your job, then maybe you aren’t.

Don’t get pissed at me for stating what happened.

Jerk.

Must.stay.awake.

Ever wonder why everyone thinks IT does a shitty job?

Maybe it’s because even when they are trying to demo a new product it doesn’t work right.

Do you think that could be part of it?

Maybe?

This meeting is so boring – I want to bang my head against the table just so I can stay awake.