nakedtourist

Month: June, 2014

Horrible.

Ugh.  Stomach virus.

I see a lot of puking into a trash can while sitting on the john in my future.

Just how I wanted to spend my weekend.

That is all.

Stupid. Effing. Cramps.

I kicked a bird.

So I was walking today –

which coincidentally is something I do every day –

And I looked down right before my foot connected with a bird.

I couldn’t believe it, the damn thing didn’t even bother to try to get out of the way of my foot.

You have wings you bastard.

Unforking Believable

So I was eating my left over lasagna today (thanks mom) – when my stupid plastic fork broke in the middle of my meal.

I was left with a decision.  Do I forfeit the rest of my treasured, home made lasagna?  Or do I start eating with my fingers?

Considering I am in a cube and in full view of everyone else around me, I decided not to pick up my pasta –

but not eating the rest of it wasn’t an option either –

So I used a pen.

Probably not the healthiest choice, not sure if the ink is supposed to be ingested or not, but it was interesting.

Thought Experiment

If a bum poops in the Park,

but there’s nobody else around to smell it,

does it still stink?

On that note, it’s time for lunch.

Nothing but the facts, jack.

You didn’t answer the phone –

I put down that you didn’t answer the phone.

If you think that makes you look like you aren’t doing your job, then maybe you aren’t.

Don’t get pissed at me for stating what happened.

Jerk.

Must.stay.awake.

Ever wonder why everyone thinks IT does a shitty job?

Maybe it’s because even when they are trying to demo a new product it doesn’t work right.

Do you think that could be part of it?

Maybe?

This meeting is so boring – I want to bang my head against the table just so I can stay awake.

Find it.

I like it.

Just Juliette

That thing that makes you feel like there are bugs under your skin, crawling around biting your muscles until you use them to do something productive and worthwhile.

Those bugs are energy, and if not herded properly turn into a monster of anxiety, at least for me. They attack my hands and feet until they tingle numb, my heart until it skips several beats, my throat until I convince myself my swallower is broken, and I’m going to choke to death and die of a heart attack and limb paralysis all at the same time.

So when the bugs begin to swarm, train them. Ball them up, point them at your passion, and put them to work.

I write. I dance. I create an anxiety ant farm, and make those little shitheads carry words to my fingers and steps to my feet. Because if I don’t, they lay eggs in…

View original post 50 more words

Setting Up Shop: ‘Storefront’ Allows You to Instantly Book Pop-Up Stores

Betabeat

Just picture it: your very own chic SoHo storefront. (Photo via John Tyler) Just picture it: your very own chic SoHo storefront. (Photo via John Tyler)

If you’ve been sitting on an incredible idea for a pop-up retail store — like a stand for your agave-sweetened raw vegan desserts, or a gallery space where you’d make a killing off selling your roommate’s photography — there’s a startup ready to fulfill all of your dreams.

It’s called Storefront, and it allows you to book short term retail space for pop-up stores. As of today, they’re adding an Instant Booking feature so that you can impulse shop for real estate. Most of the listings are upscale, but among the listings are little Manhattan boutiques that go for less than $100 a day.

View original post 309 more words

The 100 Pictures From Financial District